"I've been reading Fiddler's Green and it makes me wonder if you and your husband 'help' each other in your writing. Do you read each other's drafts? Do you pitch ideas to each other or seek help when you're stuck?" —Brenna, parent
For those who don't know, my husband, A. S. ("Pete") Peterson, is a novelist (The Fiddler's Gun,Fiddler's Green) and an award-winning playwright (The Battle of Franklin,Frankenstein) as well as the executive director of the Rabbit Room. The quick answer to your question, Brenna, is yes, quite a lot, and it's taught us both about the nuances of creative feedback and collaboration.
Here's the slightly longer answer: When I met Pete, he was in the final stages of editing Fiddler's Green, his second novel, and I was celebrating the publication of my first novel and had just finished the first draft of my second. Our friendship sprang, in large part, out of our shared love of books and art and our mutual respect for each other's writing. I was the first of his beta readers to finishFiddler's Green and to give him feedback (yes! I knew the ending before anyone else!) and he not only talked through many revisions of Henry and the Chalk Dragon with me but was its most faithful champion during a very long path towards publication. Since then, we've been each other's first readers for every essay or story or poem we've written. For each of his plays, I've sat and read scripts out loud with him through dozens of rewrites, and been a sounding board for him as he's worked through ideas and character arcs. He's listened to me as I've hashed out all my mixed-up ideas and notes and frustrations with my current projects. There are bits of me in what Pete has written, and bits of Pete in what I've written. I believe both of us have become better writers because of the influence of the other.
One of the most important things we've learned (often the hard way) is that different personalities need different kinds of feedback and encouragement. Pete and I are in some ways opposite kinds of writers, and sometimes we need opposite things from each other. I'm perpetually self-doubting and sensitive and will wither under too much criticism; the first words I need are words of affirmation. Then I can take the critique, but please couch it in repeated assurances that I haven't written a piece of trash and I'm not doomed to ruin and failure! Pete doesn't believe too much praise; he wants you to jump straight to what's wrong with his work so he can fix it. Constructive critique assures him you're taking what he's written seriously. Early in our relationship, we were giving the other what we ourselves needed, and you can imagine the result! Now that we're better attuned to the kind of feedback the other needs, there are fewer (ahem) misunderstandings.
Most importantly, we try to be each other's cheerleaders, because writing is hard, and sometimes you just need someone in your corner reminding you that you are called to do this thing and you have something to say to the world and it's going to turn out fine in the end. I know our situation is pretty unique, and I'm grateful for it. But the important thing for any writer, I think, is simply finding at least one other writer in the world (you don't have to be married to them!) who understands the craft to which you're devoting a large portion of your life, who knows your goals and your challenges, and who can encourage you on the journey. The growth that comes out of such creative synergy can be immeasurable.